GRIEF: Companionship, understanding, and love are more than enough

Like trying to navigate the ocean waves

Sacramento, Calif.- This is my sister, Mary Rita Godby Ely’s talk on GRIEF, which I just recently received.

As many of you know from previous articles, my sister, Mary Rita, passed away, October 1, after 18 years of not only surviving stage 4 ovarian cancer, but actually thriving, as a result of her attitude.

Her doctor, Dr. Joanie Hope, read Mary Rita’s talk on grief at this year’s February Let Every Woman Know Gynecological Cancer Awareness and Arts of Healing Weekend in Anchorage. A couple of years ago, Mary Rita spoke these powerful and inspirational words at a packed house at Bear Tooth Theatre:

“My name is Mary Rita Ely. I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in August, 2006. I’ve heard it said that:

Grief is like the ocean;
It comes in waves,
ebbing and flowing.
Sometimes the water is calm,
And sometimes it is
Overwhelming.
All we can do is learn to
Swim.

I have never been a strong swimmer. However, throughout the past 16 years since my diagnosis of late-stage ovarian cancer, I have become a master at treading water.

I have grieved the loss of my children’s care-free teenage years as they learned of my life- threatening disease at the ages of 13, 16, and 18. They very quickly learned that life as they knew it was not guaranteed. As a family, we learned to ebb and flow, cry and celebrate through surgeries, 6 re-occurrences and many bouts of chemo. As a result of the swim lessons we never signed up for, my children and husband’s resiliency, ability to love deeply and live adventurously has allowed us to navigate oceans we never knew existed.

The grief that I have experienced at the loss of so many of my TEAL sisters can be overwhelming at times. However, there is a sense of calmness and gratitude as I remember those treasured friendships, the courageous, graceful ways they lived and the beautiful families and friends that loved them so.

There are as many ways to deal with grief as there are those who are grieving. I have witnessed friends and family take my lead as they learn of a new set back or challenge that I will face.

Loving someone who has been diagnosed with late-stage ovarian cancer really is like trying to navigate the ocean waves. Whether you are swimming, surfing, snorkeling, or just trying to tread water beside us… your companionship, understanding and love are more than enough.”


Explore additional topics from Sacramento Naturopathic Medical Center with Dr. Godby, ND, MA and his team at Natural Wellness.

As a naturopathic doctor for the last 20 years, I have witnessed the power of a preventative lifestyle and naturopathic medicine to transform the health and lives of thousands of patients.

Sacramento Naturopathic
2530 J Street, Suite 100
Sacramento, CA 95816
Phone: (916) 446-2591
sac-nd.com/dr-dennis-godby-nd-ma

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